I don’t know him very well:
I know he’s read Kafka and Marx.
I don’t know him very well;
I know he is a bit younger than me
And much quieter.
I don’t know him very well;
I know he is passionate
I don’t know him very well;
I know he kisses gently
As though awaiting a further invitation.
The kind of polite kiss that says
He is cautious.
I hardly know him at all!
Bad girl that I am,
I ruin everything
With my impulsive heart
To a near stranger.
I hardly knew him but I noticed
He was lonely when I was too,
He was handsome in his own way
Both of us uniquely marked,
He seemed, in his reticence, to say everything.
I didn’t know him very well;
And In my ignorant bliss assumed that this was all
A sort of sign.
But I guess we failed to align
Because soon after that time
Signs are funny like that,
An illusion of time and events
That gives one a sense of deeper meaning,
As perspectives change…
Signs are funny like that,
Showing up in so many faces,
Or a peculiar set of scenery
An inkling of
Significance to be pondered.
I don’t know if
This was a sign or a waste of time,
But it’s igniting sparks of recognition within me
I don’t know if
I should feel sad
But I do feel glad.
I don’t need to know him
To feel gratitude for what he meant in my life.
Signs of growth.
It’s been a while since I updated this blog, mostly because I haven’t had much spare time this semester. However I am getting back into the swing of things now that school is coming to a close. I’m starting the summer strong with a brand new project I’m finally getting around to:
Hazelspit Vintage will consist of various vintage and secondhand/thrifted clothes, and curioso. I hope to eventually expand it to include custom designed and handmade t-shirts, as well as other handmade, dyed, and altered clothing, not to mention fine art. For now the shop will be focused entirely on women’s fashion, particularly secondhand designer and brand name clothing.
I’m so thrilled to finally be making moves to get this project off the ground, as it’s been a goal of mine for some time. I’m also developing some more creative projects to occupy my spare time this summer. I’m finally getting around to making music again, and will be collaborating with a couple DJs to get back into the groove of things. My soundcloud may actually contain original works in the future! XD I’m also planning a series of interview based documentary style youtube videos on a variety of social and philosophical topics. All in all, the coming season promises many creative outlets!
So I decided to record a bit of my music practice and put it on youtube. I’m not a huge Adele fan, but the song is fairly simple and fun to play.
I’ve always had a hard time making music. As someone who is a ‘natural’ in a lot of ways, struggling with my own self expression in music has been a point of frustration for me for years. I started playing guitar 6 years ago, and through lack of dedication and general confusion I’ve never managed more than a weak rythym guitar at best. I used to have the voice to make up for it, though I haven’t done any vocal training in years. As part of my new year’s goals (not resolutions, but goals!) I wanted to go back to making music, and it starts here and now. 🙂
All weekend I’ve been shooting thousands of stills in anticipation of my next video project: Stop Action. It occurred to me I never posted a proposal for this project. The objective is to document some kind of routine. The most obvious subject for me is my cat. She’s been my best friend for the past 14 years. I have been developing a collection of photos and art about her for several years now, it only seems natural to map her routines. So far I’m focusing on her sleeping, since that is her major pass time. I’m hoping to catch her doing some other things also, though it’s hard to document cats without influencing their behavior. She keeps looking up at me in confusion, or she wants to rub her face on the tripod, or she walks out of the frame. The key is just patience, I’m positive I’ll have some good scenes when I start combing through the raw frames.
Making this video, I took inspiration from a very specific dream sequence. Here in the final piece I can only see a faint glimmer of the original plan. Seeing that seed glimmering in the heart of the final product made me recall the old saying: There’s a grain of truth in every lie. Picasso himself famously said,
“We all know that Art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth at least the truth that is given us to understand. The artist must know the manner whereby to convince others of the truthfulness of his lies.”
I’m not saying there is a universal truth in this video, but there is an individual truth. The truth of my emotion and my dream experience, and I think I captured/communicated that well. I made it with the intention of stirring the imagination. I made it with the intention of questioning the superficial, and in an effort provoke deeper thought in my audience. I make all my art with these intentions. I hope to create visually fascinating things that connect and communicate with others.
I hope to convince people that my art holds truth.
I give you my final video project: (recut)
Wow. If this doesn’t make you think and feel, then you might be dead. Just one of many strange and wonderful video remixes by Cyriak. I don’t have time to reflect much on this now, but I don’t really think it needs my commentary. It’s pretty outstanding.
A couple sessions of gathering and converting YouTube clips, and a few hours of editing and I have the base of what I’m working on: I’m pleased to report the initial work for the video project is done!
I’ve talked about it before, but I’m still fascinated by the evolution a piece of art goes through during it’s creation. I included in my proposal, an in depth description of a dream I’m trying to capture in remix video. This is to serve as a general guide and a point of reference, not a serious script. It’s a jumping place, and something to look back at when the piece is done, so I can document more clearly the overall process.
I am really enjoying using video because I find it so easily manipulate. It makes good sense to me, scrolling, cutting, pasting, matching like pieces together, transitioning. I plan on using video layering techniques in this project to help achieve the ethereal/emotional quality of a dream, and also because I love it (if you saw my GIFs then you already know!).
The biggest challenge was how to recombine all my clipped footage. I have so many tiny segments, and several longer sections yet to be overlapped to help provide continuity within the piece (with almost 20 source videos, I need some continuous elements for blending). I’m learning a lot about adding effects, as I tweak each little piece to match and fit with the next. At the end I plan on adding a single effect over the whole piece to assist with the overall feel of the work.
I am trying to break it down into manageable deadlines (draft finished tomorrow, polished by next tuesday) based on class expectation, and also so I don’t lose sight of the other work I have to finish.
I experience this anxious eagerness whenever I work on a piece, I can’t work on it enough. I can’t finish it soon enough. It’s not that I don’t like the process, but that I love it so much I want to completely submerge myself in it. I want to follow my muse/interest fully and completely, without distraction. I often think if school was set up in a fashion where I took one intensive course at a time, that I would be much more successful at it. I comprehend best when I submerge myself completely. Scientifically the human mind is not capable of multitasking, though we often try. The mind works best when focused on one thing at a time. It only seems obvious that education should follow.
I’m planning a video project right now, and I don’t know what to do about it.
I had an interesting idea, but I hesitate:
I have a freaky recurring dream which i thought might be a concept I could capture in remix video. In the dream I’m young arguing with my father (I don’t know my actual father), we are standing on a boardwalk, and I fall off a dock into the ocean. It’s twilight or nearly dark, orange outdoor lights are flickering overhead and the water is so dark, it whorls around me and I am pulled down. I struggle to swim, but I can’t make any headway, the surface never comes closer. I realize I’m going to drown. I stop moving, and I am filled with ecstatic joy. I see my self separate from my body, shining yellow and magenta orbs shining, and my self watches in tears of joy to see my body disappear into the water. I feel entirely peaceful, happy, dancing in creative fire as I fly somewhere else.
I planned 6 or 7 films with relevant footage which i think will fully portray an image of this scene. But it’s awefully grim, and so painfully personal. Not the kind of work I like to expose to others (yes i make secret art). I keep wondering if this is such a good plan?
Not original artworks – click photo for original post site.
It’s a bit surreal to be blogging on the regular now. I’ve always thought it would be an interesting project to take on, but any number of excuses have stopped me from getting started on it before now. I’ve been busy working, busy with classes, busy making art, busy seeing friends, busy partying like it’s 1999 all over again, I had no internet access, no computer, no time… The real reason under all of that is lack of initiative, and a high level of uncertainty. Who is my audience? What makes me so interesting that anyone would want to read my blog? What even should I blog about? Excuse the phrasing, but I didn’t have my shit together.
When I look back at the last three years or so, I am a different person. Not different really, but I was such a child. Always sticking my foot in my mouth (I don’t promise that I’ve outgrown that just yet), I was blind and aimless. I had no goals, no dreams beyond a longing for independence.
I try to look back often enough, so I can see how I’ve grown and improved, to ensure I keep growing and keep improving. It was a rocky path, it still is. But I stuck by the things I love, most of all my artistic outlets. I owe much of my personal evolution to it. There’s this idea among non-creating people, I hear it often when they talk about art. There’s the myth that art is all pencils to paper, brush to canvas. Like Genesis, the art just rushes forth, in all it’s complete detail, out of the void. Would that it were so simple!
Art comes from love, pain, passion and fire. It comes from solitude and collaboration, from contemplation and from impulse. It’s a refuge within myself, where I go to celebrate my humanity. I think the thing I love most about it is that a piece of art is more than the sum of it’s elements. It’s never just a pencil, just paper, just a brush, a canvas, pastel, more than clay, more than glass, more than oil or acrylic. Art means something, even when it means nothing at all.